Chapter 2: Don’t need to recalculate!
When I opened my eyes again, I was in a completely dark place, so dark that I’m not even sure if my eyes are opened. A robotic voice states:
“Greetings Soul #Zxx12x3x0, welcome to the reincarnation realm. Your data is now being processed and displayed.”
In the completely black space, a red game screen pops up:
|[Age of Death]||107|
|[Cause of Death]||Pitiful heart failure due to old age|
|[Karma]||Level 0 – 23/999999|
|[Verdict]||Deserves to be reincarnated into a lowly insect into a world where insects have no power due to insufficient karma.|
“According to the data, Soul #Zxx12x3x0 would now be added to the Negative Karmic Reincarnation queue where Soul #Zxx12x3x0 shall reincarnate into an insignificant insect. Please confirm.”
A [Confirm] button appeared underneath my displayed data. Of course, there are lots of things to complain about. Honestly, there is no ****ing way I am going to reincarnate if I do not complain on how unfair this is!
“Hey! Whoever’s out there?! What is this supposed to mean?! Why the hell would you want me to reincarnate as an insect!!!?! I object?! Absolutely refuse!? I request a fair trial with my human rights!”
After I mentally yelled that out loud due to not feeling a mouth in the first place, the robotic voice responded monotonously:
“Checking … Due to insufficient karma, Soul #Zxx12x3x0 cannot request a re-trial. As Soul #Zxx12x3x0 is being reincarnated into an insect, Soul #Zxx12x3x0 does not have human rights. Please confirm.”
Okay, this is not going through. I need to try something else. Maybe a threat would work?
“Whoever you are, if you don’t change my reincarnation data, I will report you to your manager and get you fired! Here me?! FIRED!”
The robotic voice then played an error sound and responded:
“Threat detected from Soul #Zxx12x3x0, engaging soul annihilation procedures. Booting sequence, engage in 10 … 9 …”
Oh s***. Okay as the saying goes, the last resort is always the pity card.
“Ahahah .. ha .. wahhhh *sob* sob actually, here me out O’ grandest and most marvelous being. It’s not like I wanted this. It’s just that I didn’t have a choice. When I was 1, my father died when he went out to throw away the trash. My mother followed after due to starving to death when waiting for my father to come back for dinner. I was put into an orphanage where I was bullied all day until I was crippled for the rest of my life, losing both arms and legs along with my voice. I tried to sow good karma but I was not able to because an insidious man took fancy to me and locked me up in an isolated room and occasionally sent in a monster to torture me. Ohhhh my pitiful life… sob“
I took a peek or not and waited for that robot voice to respond. It actually took seconds or more before the voice responded:
“Calculated: Lies 50%, Truth 50%. Re-judgement Error. Due to insufficient privileges, unable to judge statement of Soul #Zxx12x3x0 as True of False. Sending in request for enhanced privileged personnel.”
Yes!! It worked! As long as some intelligent being is here, then my road to greatness would be opened! Mwahahaha!
With a flash of light, now I am officially in a white space. Still can’t see my body though. A irritated, hoarse voice exploded in the space:
“Tsk, time to smash and crack down on another bandit mind individual. Urggg, man this job is such a hassle. Why do we even give these jokers a chance to make a pointless argument when we send them to an even worse torture in the end anyways…”
Ok, that honestly did not sound good to me. I think I-
“Woah, look at what we have here, an even smarter one that recognizes the bad situation at a glance… Soul #Zxx12x3x0, hmm let’s just shorten that to err, I’ll call this one Pro just because it seems like he actually is more on the smarter side.”
Oh s** of a b****. No wonder no one passes, guy can read minds. Urggg, wait. Pro? That’s my name already isn’t it?
“Wahhh, that is really your name wasn’t it… Hah, such a queer name. Don’t think I’ve got one in a long time if any. Well doesn’t matter anyways. Let’s just start with what you want so that we can get you out of here ASAP.”
Ok, so how do I say this. Should I say I don’t deserve this treatment? It’s not like I deserve what I’m getting. Literally, I was paralyzed my whole life pretty much, and there wasn’t much chance for me to get karma-
“Ohoh, hold it right there. According to the data, you were paralyzed at 32. Assuming you took 18 years to grow up and doing no good, you still had, 13 years where you could have sowed some karma. Even the worst of the worst, and I mean like the ones that commit rape and murder still get around 100+ karma on average throughout there life. Honestly, just by doing nothing on the bed paralyzed, you are still sowing good karma by not bringing destruction to society. Doing that for 75 years should still net you at least 75 karma if you get the least of 1 per year. And here you are at a pitiful 23 karma?!”
I know right?! There MUST be something wrong with the system. So please do a check for me and recalculate my karma points!! I would appreciate it and I would repay you like tenfold-no a hundredfold!
“Ehhhhh~ Not sure if you can even repay me one times the amount of time I waste to recheck this and fix the data, but since this could be interesting … heh heh, I’ll do it just this time…”
Hoorah!! Finally! This would be the cliche where a mistake was made and I am granted unlimited cheats in another world as an apology! Mwahahaha!
“Hoh, I don’t think that’s gonna happen according to your record here. Heh, wow~ Never expect someone to gain so much negative karma just from a couple of events. Let’s see, due to trying to commit suicide by walking into vehicle’s travel line, bystander offered assistance to pull individual to safety with Herculean strength. Due to straining of the bystander’s muscles, bystander’s arms were officially disabled for the rest of his life. Bystander was a genius surgeon who could have saved an average of 25 lives per year and the bystander could have worked for 46 more years. And then some of those lives could have saved others, and we deduct one karma point for every life … a total of 1572 karma points deducted. Awesome! That’s a new record! And that’s just one event! You should be in the negatives! 23 is actually a high value with such idiotic behavior. Do you want me to calculate the rest?”
Oi, oi, oi… Seriously?! That, hey can’t blame that on… wait don’t recalculate! I’m good with my 23! Seriously!